Defending your suffering while suffering

Catch up on the latest health news, tips, and trends.

Other countries have access to the strongest sunscreen out there, so why not the US? Plus, you might not be applying enough.

We’re rethinking everything after learning that vegetables aren’t real. Don’t blame us, blame botany.

Why this new study on Black women's cancer survival rates is historic. And very much overdue.

You might be able to ditch the antibiotics and debilitating pain that comes with chronic UTIs soon, thanks to these new treatments. Way to go, science.

If TV binging is how you unwind after a long day…it may actually have the opposite effect. Is nothing sacred anymore?

PS: Thanks to recent recalls, you might want to check your kitchen for Planters nuts, candy, and ground beef.

Defending your suffering while suffering

Life is hard enough. When you’re dealing with persistent pain or brain fog that others can’t see, it can be especially heavy. Chronic illness — like long COVID or ALS — can feel relentless, says Annie Brewster, MD, assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, who has a chronic illness herself. There are appointments, medications, and symptoms to manage. And if you haven't yet been diagnosed, constantly wondering, “What's wrong?”

That can lead to chronic illness burnout (CIB), or a sense of “existential emotional exhaustion and distress,” says Gina Moffa, LCSW, a psychotherapist who also has a chronic illness. It can manifest mentally and physically.

Why burnout is so common

• Emotional labor. Or, having to “defend your suffering while you’re suffering” to both doctors and people in your life, says Moffa. “You spend [a lot of energy] trying to prove you’re sick or need extra help, adds Moffa. 

• Reacting to societal expectations. Feeling judged for needing to rest or other accommodations might encourage you to overextend yourself — which isn’t doing your mind or body any favors.

• Stress. Because frequently dealing with health insurance claims and a biased medical system isn’t how anyone wants to spend their time.

How CIB worsens your health

CIB can make your illness harder to manage or exacerbate symptoms, explains Moffa. Plus, burnout can lead to coping tendencies that only make things worse, she adds. That may look like:

• Skipping doctor’s appointments

• Not taking necessary medications

• Isolating

• Self-criticizing

Your move

You can't take a physical break from your chronic illness — but you can take a mental one. Here’s what Moffa and Brewster suggest:

• Audit your calendar. What can you remove? Socializing can be great for your mental health, but it's OK to say “no” to anything that pushes your limits. 

• Do something you enjoy. Whether that’s engaging in creativity or getting out in nature. “Creating space in our minds is really important when dealing with burnout,” says Moffa.

• Exercise (if it helps). Generally, exercise is a quick way to give your mood a boost. But it’s not helpful for all chronic illnesses. 

• Find your community. “There are so many great patient communities out there,” says Brewster. She finds it therapeutic to be part of a group that gets it. Follow people on social media who share your experience, or use tools like MeetUp to find your people.

Last week, we asked you to vote on a question to answer. The winner was:

What should I do if I think a tick bit me?

FEATURED EXPERT:

Richard S. Ostfeld, PhD

Disease ecologist and distinguished senior scientist at the Cary Institute of Ecosystem Studies

Watch out for anything unusual: “[Pay] close attention to symptoms over the next few weeks. Any fever or flu-like symptoms that begin during that time could indicate a tick-borne disease that should be checked by a doctor.”

Get the tick checked out: “If it’s possible to collect the tick, it’s a good idea to do so, to allow it to be identified by a tick specialist ... Each common species of North American tick is associated with different diseases, so the identity of the tick is useful information.”

PS: Ostfeld also told us what activities increase your risk for a tick bite. And here’s a map of where they live.

Feeling thirsty? Your skin probably is. The average person loses between 300 and 400 milliliters of water through their skin every. single. day. Enter: Onekind Dream Cream Nighttime Moisturizer. It’s dermatologist-tested, sensitive skin-friendly, and packed with nourishing plant-based ingredients like rosehip oil and squalane. Applying it nightly leaves skin brighter, smoother, and intensely hydrated come morning. Talk about dreamy. Did we mention Skimm'rs can get a free 60-day supply? Use code SKIMM to pay just shipping and handling.

Where we literally give you the words you need to get things done.

20 Conversation Starters for the Socially Anxious 

If you freeze up at a party or work event, check out these scripts from licensed psychologist Alicia Hodge. So you know what to say when you’re making a new mom friend or getting to know new colleagues.

"The shower"

Where some couples escape to have sex away from their pets. Guess some people don’t like it ruff.