Toddler math isn’t mathing

The latest in parenting news, tips, and trends:

How companies around the country are trying to retain employees by offering childcare in unexpected places. More of this, please.

Sesame Street's makeover, which includes a brand new format. Please just don’t get rid of ‘The Letter of the Day.’

What to do when images from the Israel-Hamas war become too much for your kids (and frankly, yourself). A trauma psychiatrist shares how to minimize harm while staying informed.

Why researchers say a dose of independence can help kids combat fears, reduce anxiety, and gain confidence. Plus, you can try it at home.

Two stories making us smile: A failed Minion cake and this breakdown of toddler math.

Last week, we asked you to vote on a question to answer. The winner was:

What’s the best teeth-brushing routine for a kid?

FEATURED EXPERT:

Audrey G. Brewer, MD, MPH

Pediatrician and assistant professor of pediatrics at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine

“Cavities can develop as soon as a baby gets teeth, so routinely brushing teeth early can be very helpful. If possible, have your child get in the habit of brushing their teeth after meals. Try to prioritize brushing their teeth after breakfast and at bedtime. 

“It’s recommended to brush teeth for two minutes, so you can sing a song together or set a timer. There are some brushes that light up or play music … that will help keep track.

“Let your child try brushing their teeth first, especially if they’re showing signs of independence. Get in the habit of proudly checking out their work and making sure their teeth are clean. Demonstrating how you brush your teeth can also help model healthy behavior. Regular dental check-ups are important to help your child maintain healthy teeth and gums.”

Psst… Here are a few ways to make teeth-brushing fun.

Parent-centered advice, recs, and resources.

A Non-Painful Way to Create Boundaries During the Holidays

Managing family dynamics (read: power struggles) during the holidays is not something anyone wants on their to-do list. “I recommend that before you go to another family’s home, you try to get really clear on what’s important today. What do I want to have control over and what doesn't really matter? Maybe you can let some of it go,” says Whitney Goodman, a licensed marriage and family therapist. 

Setting boundaries can help, here’s how:

• Start with what you can control: For older kids, that may mean prepping them about what you’re expecting from them, regardless of what other kids are doing. You could also plan ahead in certain situations to minimize stress. For example, if your kids keep kosher, you can bring something for them to have instead of [nonkosher] desserts. Just tell the host in advance. 

• Communicate clearly: Reach out and tell your family member or friend there are certain rules you’d like your kids to follow while at their house. Try saying: “Hey, we have this rule in our family, where we don't let our kids watch TV, and I want to make sure that you're not blindsided and that you know why I'm doing this.

• Have a plan if your boundary is violated: If someone violates your boundaries every day of the year, don't expect them to be respectful of those boundaries on a holiday suddenly, says Goodman. But sometimes, people forget and don’t do it maliciously. You could remind them of the boundary, or you could choose to remove yourself from the situation. Just make sure your partner is also on the same page. 

• When you can, let it go: Take some of the pressure off and acknowledge that it may not all go according to plan. You’re not a failure if your kids don’t eat the right foods or they don’t go to bed on time. “The point of these days is to have fun and enjoy time with each other. You need to change your goals [because] we have all the other days of the year to prioritize nutrition, sleep, and all of those things,” says Goodman. 

Postpartum Self-Care Takes a Backseat to Newborn Care

Less than half of moms are saying, 'I have enough support' during their postpartum period after leaving the hospital, according to a BabyCenter survey. While the majority feel ready to care for their newborn, (shoutout to lactation consultants and nurses), only 47% of women felt confident about taking care of themselves — mentally or physically. Which really blows, since we know most postpartum-related complications are treatable if you can find the help.

The survey included 1,742 mothers of babies 6 months and younger. Here are the major findings:

• First-time moms struggle more with postpartum self-care: Only 38% feel properly prepared to care for their own physical and emotional needs after giving birth.

• At-home support is lacking: 56% of moms say they receive all the support they need during their hospital stay, but once they go home, just 41% say they feel totally supported— and the limited help they do get is centered around taking care of the baby. 

• Missing the right kind of help: 97% of moms say they have some support at home in the early weeks with chores, cooking, and taking care of older children. But what moms don’t often have is guidance on breastfeeding, postpartum bleeding, pain management, or emotional changes.

• Many moms of color are disproportionately affected: Only 22% of AAPI mothers and 32% of Black mothers feel they receive all the postpartum support they need, compared to 38% of Hispanic mothers and 44% of white mothers. 

This survey is yet another example of why the US needs additional postpartum support systems for families (ahem, paid family leave). Your move, gov.