Daily Skimm Weekend: Holiday Blues, Long Reads, and 2023 Goals

‘Tis the Damn Season

Taking Stock: The holidays are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. But what if it doesn’t always feel that way?

The Story

Every December, social media posts, ads, and holiday movies sell a vision of what this time of year should look like: Friends and family. Feasts. Gift-giving. Laughter and cheer. While that may be the case for many, others may find that real life isn’t so merry and bright. Maybe family gatherings are reminders of loss. Perhaps the pressure to buy gifts hurts already tight wallets or exacerbates racial or financial inequities. Or maybe you just feel lonely, even when you’re surrounded by loved ones. If this time of year has you feeling stressed, sad, or overwhelmed — you’re not alone. Here are a few tips to get through it.

Emotionally…It’s certainly okay to feel your feelings. And reaching out to your support system can help. So can setting healthy boundaries with family members. Instead of waiting for issues to arise, consider what upset you during the last holiday season (think: conversations about politics or relationships) and come up with a plan for how to manage similar situations this time around. That could mean prepping a response or coming up with an exit strategy. 

Mentally…It’s easy to burn out from all the holiday planning and partying — or from the stress of a long year. Committing to your routines (think: taking walks, getting enough sleep) can help you stay grounded. Plus, remember not everything has to be perfect. And chances are, it won’t be. You don’t have to nail every gift, decorate every corner of the house, or go to every party. 

Physically…Party hopping and travel can take a toll. Particularly this year, given the “tripledemic.” To stay safe, take whatever precautions will make you feel most comfortable — which Aunt Patty should understand. Many health experts are once again suggesting that people mask up, while the Biden admin is offering additional free COVID-19 tests. 

theSkimm

The holiday season can be challenging, so this year give yourself and others compassion. It’ll go a long way.

Bookmark'd

Here’s a look at the reads we’ve saved, texted, and emailed to our friends…

Sex, Love, & Marriage Behind Bars…what conjugal visits are really like, according to an incarcerated journalist.

The Secret Lives of MI6’s Top Female Spies...for the first time, ​​Britain’s female Secret Intelligence Service officers are going on the record. And spilling some not-so-secret intel — like how women make the best spies.

The Woman Who Made Online Dating Into a ‘Science’…why the Match.com “love expert” regrets nothing, nearly 20 years after changing everything.

The Major Issue with Latina Representation in ‘Wednesday’…one writer on the show’s lack of racial awareness, and what we can learn from it.

Downtime

Downtime doesn’t have to mean doing nothing. Here’s one idea for making the most of your weekend.

2023 is around the corner. And with the new year comes endless opportunities. Maybe you’ve been thinking about switching careers, building healthier habits, or changing some relationships. Or, maybe you want to cross some places and experiences off your bucket list. Since it can be overwhelming to work toward new goals, no matter how big or small, we’ve rounded up some tips and tricks to help you get started — and stay on track.

• Pick a doable goal. To set yourself up for success, use the ‘SMART’ approach. As in, something that’s specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound. And keep in mind that the more exact, the better: Rather than saying “I want to save more,” have a concrete goal, like saving a certain percent of each paycheck. It can also help to start small. Instead of committing to running five days a week, start with one or two, then build from there. Also, resolutions that are value-driven have a better chance of lasting, so here are some suggestions.

• Get creative. A vision board is a fun and visual way to chart your new destiny — especially if you put it someplace where you can see it every day. That could be on your phone: There are apps that allow you to add pictures, notes, and links to visualize your plans. Or, that could mean going old-school by clipping images and phrases from magazines and attaching them to poster board. 

• Stay motivated. Team up with a friend, so you can keep each other excited about your new goals — and hold each other accountable. It's also important to reward yourself along the way. Because reaching milestones toward a larger goal is something to celebrate.

• Cut yourself some slack. It’s very possible that you may come to a point where you want to give up or you lose track of your goal. So add some grace to your plans. It’ll create a smoother and more realistic path to the finish line.